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Monday, November 20, 2006

Cat Jokes....

What time is it when 12 cats chase a mouse?
12 after 1!

What looks like half a cat?
The other half!

What happened when the cat ate a ball of wool?
She had mittens!


What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot?
A carrot!

How do cats eat spaghetti?
The same as everyone else - they put it in their mouths!

What is a French cat's favorite pudding?
Chocolate mousse!


What do cat actors say on stage?
Tabby or not tabby!

What's the favorite Christmas song of tigers?
Jungle Bells!

How do you know if you cat's got a bad cold?
He has cat-arrh!


What would you call a cat that likes to dig on the beach?
Sandy Claws.

Which is the cats' all-time favorite song?
"Three Blind Mice."

What is another name for a cat's home?
scratch pad.


How do you stop a ten-pound parrot from talking too much?
Buy a twenty-pound cat!


How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling?
She's got that down in the mouth look!

What do you get if you cross a cat and a gorilla?
An animal that puts you out a night!

What is a cat's favorite color?
Purrr-ple!

Who helped Cinderella's cat go to the ball?
Her furry godmother!

How does a cat count?
One, mew, three!


What newspapers do cats read?
The Daily Mews!

What drinks milk, meows, and has eight legs?
An octo-puss!

What is a cat's favorite party game?
Mews-ical chairs!


What did the mouse say when the cat bit his tail?
That's the end of me!

What do you do with a blue Burmese?
Try and cheer it up a bit!

What is the cat's favorite TV show?
The evening mews!


What's worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs!

How is cat food sold?
Usually purr can!

What noise does a cat make going down the highway?
Miaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow!


What do you get if cross a cat with a canary?
Shredded tweet!

What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
One means pause at the end of a clause, and the other means
claws at the end of paws!

If a cat is a flabby tabby, then what is a very small cat?
An itty bitty kitty.


What is the best award a cat can earn?
The Purr-litzer prize.

Can anything be smarter than a cat that can count?
Yes, a spelling bee!

What's the unluckiest kind of cat to have?
A catastrophe!

What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree?
A cat-a-logue!

What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim?
An octopuss!

Why did the cat join the Red Cross?
Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit!


Why do people love cats?
Because they are purrrrr-fect!

What happened when the cat ate a ball of yarn?
She had mittens!

Why did the cat put the letter "M" into the fridge?
Because it turns "ice" into "mice"!


When the cat's away....?
The house smells better!

Why was the cat so small?
Because it only ate condensed milk!

Why did the cat cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off!


What works in a circus, walks a tightrope and has claws?
An acrocat!

What do you call a cat wearing shoes?
Puss in boots!

What does a cat call a bowl of mice?
A purrfect meal!


What is another way to describe a cat?
A heat seeking missile!

What did the cat do when he swallowed some cheese?
He waited by the mouse hole with baited breath!

Why are cars longer in the evening than they are in the morning?
Because they're let out in the evening and taking in in the
morning!


How does a cat sing scales?
Do-ri-me-ow!

What do cats like best on a hot day?
Mice cream!

What do you call a cat that digs in the sand?
Sandy claws! (Santa Claus)


What do you call a cat that sucks on lemons?
A sour puss!

What does a sour puss eat?
Crab meat!

What happens when two cats want the same dish of food?
They get into a phsssssst fight!


What kind of cats purrs the best?
Purrrrr-sians!

Who was the most powerful cat in China?
Chairman Miaow!

What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?
A sourpuss!


What is cleverer than a talking cat?
A spelling bee!

What do you get if you cross a cat with a canary?
A peeping tom!

What did one cat say to another?
Have you heard the mews today!


What sport do cats play?
Hairball!

What is a favorite cat tale?
The Tortoiseshell and the Hair!

What do you call a loving cat bite?
Cat nip!


What do you get when it rains cats and dogs?
Big mud poodles!

Can a cat play patty-cake?
Pawsibly!

How do you know that cats are sensitive creatures?
They never cry over spilt milk!

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